A moment of insight through NVC and Media Richness Theory

In one of my Foundation Courses, someone asked about how to apply Nonviolent Communication in written communication. Another participant had studied about written communication extensively and in our next session, introduced us to Media Richness Theory—a concept from communication studies that ranks communication channels by how much nuance and emotional depth they can carry. Face-to-face conversations are considered the "richest" medium, followed by video calls, phone calls, and then written messages. According to the theory, the "richer" the medium, the more it allows for presence, mutual understanding, and the ability to respond in the moment.

Later that week, I was working with someone privately who was preparing to share something delicate with a family member, something they anticipated might be hard to hear. Their first instinct was to write an email, carefully crafting every word to try to get it just right.

As we reflected together, they suddenly paused and said,

"I realise that in writing, I can take all the time I need to be intentional, but the person reading it might be in a completely different emotional place. They’ll interpret it however it lands with them, and I won’t be there to support connection if it’s difficult."

In the end, they chose to call instead.

It was a small shift, but one that helped them stay connected to their intention, not just to express themselves honestly, but to do so in a way that supported mutual understanding.

It’s not that written communication is bad or less than. Sometimes it’s the most accessible or supportive strategy, depending on the relationship or the situation. But this moment reminded both of us how much NVC invites us to stay conscious, not only of what we want to express, but also how we express it, and through which channel we offer connection.

So here’s something you might ask yourself next time you're about to hit the send button on something important:

• Would it serve this relationship more to speak instead?
• Am I choosing a medium that supports connection, not just clarity?
• Would I want to be present when the other person hears this?

NVC supports honesty, empathy, and choice. Media Richness Theory adds one more layer of awareness and can help us stay in relationship, even when things seem tender.